Lewisham Safeguarding Children Partnership

Emotional Abuse of Children & Young People

Definition

The persistent emotional maltreatment of a child so as to cause severe and persistent adverse effects on the child’s emotional development.

It may involve conveying to a child that they are worthless or unloved, inadequate, or valued only insofar as they meet the needs of another person.

It may include not giving the child opportunities to express their views, deliberately silencing them, or making fun of what they say or how they communicate.

It may feature age or developmentally inappropriate expectations being imposed on children. These may include interactions that are beyond a child’s developmental capability, as well as overprotection and limitation of exploration and learning, or preventing the child participating in normal social interaction.

It may involve seeing or hearing the ill-treatment of another. Children living in an environment of coercive control may feel isolated, fearful, and powerless, which can severely affect emotional development.

It may involve serious bullying (including cyber bullying), causing children frequently to feel frightened or in danger, or the exploitation or corruption of children.

Some level of emotional abuse is involved in all types of maltreatment of a child, though it may occur alone.

Who is at risk?

Children can be at risk of emotional abuse in any family, but certain circumstances increase vulnerability. These include environments where there may be:

  • Domestic abuse
  • Conflict and instability
  • Mental health difficulties
  • Economic hardship
  • Isolation or lack of support networks
  • Substance misuse
  • Children with Disabilities / Complex Needs

How is child emotional abuse measured?

Measuring the scale and nature of child emotional abuse is difficult because it is usually hidden from view. Victims often feel unable to report their experiences and adults are not always able to recognise that emotional abuse is taking place. As a result, administrative data sources do not represent the full scale of the issue. There are no current surveys that measure children’s experiences of emotional abuse because of the challenges in asking this age group about such a sensitive topic. We therefore do not know how many children are currently experiencing, or have experienced, emotional abuse in the UK.  (ONS 2019)

However, there are a number of sources of information that, when looked at together, can help build up a picture of the scale and nature of child emotional abuse. Indicators of child emotional abuse reported:

  • adults’ self-reported experiences of child emotional abuse
  • offences recorded by the police
  • children who come to the attention of children’s services
  • contact with support services

Signs & Indicators of Emotional Abuse

Humiliating or constantly criticising the child or mocking the child’s disability.

Threatening, shouting at a child or calling them names.

Making the child the subject of jokes or using sarcasm to hurt the child.

Blaming and scapegoating

Making a child perform degrading acts.

Not recognising a child’s own individuality or trying to control their lives.

Pushing a child too hard or not recognising their limitations.

Exposing a child to upsetting events or situations, like domestic abuse or drug taking.

Failing to promote a child’s social development.

Not allowing them to have friends or preventing the child participating in normal social interaction.

Persistently ignoring them.

Being absent.

Manipulating a child.

Never saying anything kind, expressing positive feelings or congratulating a child on successes.

Never showing any emotions in interactions with a child, being emotionally unavailable.

Making a child feel worthless, unloved or inadequate, or a burden.

Not giving a child the opportunity to express their views, deliberately silencing them or “making fun” of what they say or how they communicate.

Age or developmentally inappropriate expectations being imposed on a child.  These may include interactions that are beyond a child’s development capability, as well as an overprotection and limitation of exploration of learning.

Serious bullying, including Cyberbullying.

Seeing or hearing the ill treatment of another. 

Causing a child to feel frightened or in danger or using extreme forms of punishment.

Treating the child as incapable beyond what their disability requires. 

Denying age-appropriate independence or decision making.

Threatening to withdraw care, medical support or assistive devices.

There might not be any obvious physical signs of emotional abuse or neglect.  And a child might not tell anyone what’s happening until they reach a “crisis point”.  That’s why it’s important to look out for signs in how a child is acting.

As children grow up, their emotions change.  This means it can be difficult to tell if they’re being emotionally abused.  But children who are being emotionally abused might:-

  • Seem unconfident or lack self-assurance.
  • Struggle to manage their emotions.
  • Having difficulty making or maintaining friendships.
  • Act in a way that’s inappropriate for their age.
  • Experience regression in skills or reluctance to interact with certain individuals.

Babies & Toddlers

  • Be overly affectionate to strangers or people they don’t know well.
  • Seen unconfident, wary or anxious.
  • Not have a close relationship or bond with their parent.
  • Be aggressive or cruel towards other children or animals.

Older Children

  • Use language or demonstrate knowledge that is not age appropriate.
  • Act in a way or know about things beyond development expectations.
  • Struggle to manage their emotions.
  • Have extreme outbursts.
  • Seem isolated from their parents.
  • Lack social skills.
  • Have few or no friends.

If a Child Reveals Abuse

A child who is being emotionally abused might not realise what’s happening is wrong.  And they might even blame themselves.  On their own, these indicators do not prove abuse, but they are prompts to observe and take actions if concerns increase. 

If a child talks to you about emotional abuse it’s important to: -

  • Listen carefully to what they’re saying.
  • Let them know they’ve done the right thing by telling you.
  • Tell them it’s not their fault.
  • Say you’ll take them seriously.
  • Don’t confront the alleged abuser.
  • Explain what you’ll do next, including who you will be informing and the reasons why. The child’s safety is paramount.
  • Record what the child has informed you of immediately afterwards, or at the earliest opportunity whilst the information is fresh in your mind. This may be used as evidence.
  • Report what the child has told you as soon as possible.

Effects of Emotional Abuse

Behavioural Problems

Emotional abuse can change how a child behaves, such as:

  • Wanting attention or becoming clingy.
  • Not caring how they act or what happens to them.
  • Trying to make people dislike them.
  • Developing risky behaviour, like stealing, bullying or running away.

Emotional Development

Emotional abuse can affect a child’s emotional development, including:

  • Difficulty recognising, expressing and managing emotions.
  • Low self-confidence.
  • Increase risk of behaviour problems.
  • Challenges in forming and maintaining healthy relationships later in life.

Mental Health Difficulties

Emotional abuse of a child or young person can increase the risk of:

Academic Impact

  • Reduced concentration and memory.
  • Lower academic performance.
  • Avoidance of schoolwork.
  • Higher school dropout risk.

Lewisham’s Family Help Continuum of Need

family chart

Level 1

Level 2

Level 3

Level 4

The child has warm and supportive relationships within and outside of their family environment which respect their protected characteristics

The child experiences discrimination in their day-to-day life either in their family environment, at school or in their community resulting in them being disadvantaged

The child experiences discrimination in their day-to-day life either in their family environment, at school or in their community resulting in disadvantage, exclusion and distress

The child experiences discrimination in their day-to-day life either in their family environment, at school or in their community resulting in acute distress, feelings of worthlessness and leading to a concern that they may harm themselves

The child is provided with an emotionally warm, supportive relationship and stable family environment providing consistent boundaries and guidance, meeting developmental milestones to the best of their abilities.

Parenting often lacks emotional warmth and/or can be overly critical and/or inconsistent, occasional relationship difficulties impacting on the child’s development. Struggles with setting age-appropriate boundaries, occasionally not meeting developmental milestones and occasionally prioritises their own needs before child’s.

Carers inability to engage emotionally with child leads to developmental milestones not met. Family environment is volatile and unstable resulting in a negative impact on the child, leading to possible vulnerabilities and exploitative relationships, parent/ carer unable to judge dangerous situations / set appropriate boundaries. Allegations parents making verbal threats to children. Child rarely comforted when distressed / under significant pressure to achieve / aspire.

Relationships between the child and carer have broken down to the extent that the child is at risk of significant harm / frequently exposed to dangerous situations and development significantly impaired. Child has suffered long term neglect due to lack of emotional support from parents.

Child has good mental health and psychological wellbeing.

The child has a mild a mental health condition which affects their everyday functioning but can be managed in mainstream schools and parents are engaged with school /health services including accessing remote support services to address this. Child is accessing social media sites related to self-harm, has expressed thoughts of self-harm but no evidence of self-harm incidences. History of mental health condition but have been assessed and discharged home with safety plan and follow up.

The child has a mental health condition which significantly affects their everyday functioning and requires specialist intervention in the community. Parent is not presenting child for treatment increasing risk of mental health deterioration problems as a result No evidence child has accessed mental health advice services and suffers recurrent mental health problems as a result. Child is known to be accessing harmful social media sites to facilitate self-harming. Child self-harms causing minor injury and parent responds appropriately. Child has expressed suicidal ideation with no known plan of intent. Child is under the care of hospital engaging with mental health services.

Child expressed suicidal ideation with intent or psychotic episode or other significant mental health symptoms. Refuses medical care or is in hospital following episode of self-harm or suicide attempt or significant mental health issues. Carer unable to manage child’s behaviours related to their mental health increasing the risk of the child suffering significant harm. Child or young person has ongoing suicidal ideation following attempt or is in hospital following episode of self-harm or suicide attempt.

The child engages in age-appropriate activities and displays age-appropriate behaviours, having a positive sense of self and abilities reducing the risk of those wanting to exploit them.

Child has a negative sense of self and abilities, suffering with low self-esteem and confidence making them vulnerable to those who wish to exploit them resulting in becoming involved in negative behaviour/activities.

Child has a negative sense of self and abilities, suffering with low self-esteem and confidence which results in child becoming involved in negative behaviour / activities by those exploiting / grooming them.

Evidence of exploitation linked to child’s vulnerability. Child frequently exhibits negative behaviour / activities that place self or others at imminent risk.

Mental health of the carer does not affect / impact care of the child.

Sporadic / low level mental health of carer impacts care of child, however, protective factors in place.

Mental health needs of the carer (subject to a section under MHA) is impacting on the care of their child and there are no supportive networks and extended family to prevent harm. Carer has expressed suicidal ideation with no known plan of intent.

Mental health needs of the carer significantly impacting the care of their child placing them at risk of significant harm. Carer has ongoing suicidal ideation following attempt or is in hospital following episode of self-harm or suicide attempt.

Child has not suffered the loss of a close family member or friend

Child has suffered a bereavement recently or in the past and is distressed but receives support from family and friends and appears to be coping reasonably well – would benefit from short term additional support from early help services.

Child has suffered bereavement recently or in the past and recent there has been a deterioration in their behaviour. Low level support has not assisted, long term intervention required.

Child has suffered bereavement and is missing, self-harming, disclosing suicidal thoughts, risk of exploitation, involvement in gang/criminal activity.

LA notified the child is privately fostered by adults who are able to provide for his/her needs and there are no safeguarding concerns.

 

Some concern about the private fostering arrangements in place for the child, there may be issues around the carers’ treatment of the child. The local authority hasn’t been notified of the private fostering arrangement.

There is concern that the child is a victim of exploitation, domestic slavery, or being physically abused in their private foster placement.

If a child is in immediate risk of harm call 999.  Otherwise make a referral to:

Family First Contact Point (FFCP)

Opening hours:

Monday–Friday 9am–5pm. If you have concerns about the welfare of a child outside these hours, please contact the emergency duty team on 020 8314 6000 and ask to speak to the out-of-hours duty social worker.

Telephone:

020 8314 6660

Email 

MashAgency@lewisham.gov.uk


NSPCC & ChildLine

The NSPCC have had a 200% increase in 7 years in reports of emotional abuse, receiving 27 calls a day on average from children and young people.

It is important that children and young people feel safe and know who they can talk to when they are experiencing any kind of abuse.

ChildLine Number          0800 1111

Website:                       www.childline.org.uk


Resources:

Working Together 2023
Keeping Children Safe in Education
London Safeguarding Children Procedures.

NSPCC

LSCP Family Help Continuum of Need (2024-25)

Office for National Statistics

How safe are our children 2020 - NSPCC Report

Children affected by Domestic Abuse – Barnardo’s

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