Domestic & Relationship Abuse

Young People & Relationship Abuse

Most relationships are healthy and safe, and our parents or carers, extended family, boyfriends, girlfriends and friends want the best for us and treat us well. However sometimes this isn’t the case.

Relationship (domestic) abuse is when someone hurts, threatens or makes you feel scared or uncomfortable. It isn’t just physical violence but any type of controlling, bullying, threatening or violent behaviour between people in a relationship and includes emotional, physical, sexual, financial or psychological abuse.

Abuse is not normal and never ok regardless of how old you are. If you are in a relationship with someone, you should feel loved, safe, respected and free to be yourself. There are different forms of abuse and for more information and to find out where to get help visit: Disrespect NoBody Campaign website

Remember it’s not your fault and it is important to talk about it with someone you trust.

Has anyone given you money, drugs, alcohol or gifts and somewhere to stay and then forced you to…

have sex with them?
do something sexual to them?
be touched inappropriately, in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable?
look at sexual images?
watch them to something sexual?

Go to our page on Multi-Agency Child Exploitation (MACE) Strategy & Resources to find out more

The Domestic Violence, Crime and Victims Act 2004 defines domestic violence as ‘any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between adults who are, or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.’

Domestic abuse is any incident of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse:

between people aged over 16
who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members

and can involve

Physical: being hit
Sexual: rape, sexual assault, degrading treatment
Financial: having money withheld or being forbidden from getting a job
Social: not being allowed to see friends and family or go out
Psychological: constantly telling someone they are worthless and so reducing their self-esteem and confidence
Emotional: telling a person their children will be taken from them if they leave or that no one else will love them

It can happen to anyone, regardless of age, social background, gender, religion, sexuality or ethnicity, and can begin at any stage of the relationship.

Domestic abuse can also include forced marriage and so-called “honour crimes”.

It’s abuse if your partner or a family member:

puts you down, or attempts to undermine your self-esteem
controls you, for example by stopping you seeing your friends and family
is jealous and possessive, such as being suspicious of your friendships and conversations
frightens you

Domestic abuse and safeguarding children

Children who live in families where there is domestic abuse can suffer serious long-term emotional and psychological effects. Even if they are not physically harmed or do not witness acts of violence, they can pick up on the tensions and harmful interactions between adults.

Children will learn their behaviour from examples set by other people around them and exposure to domestic abuse teaches children negative things about people and their relationships. For instance:

It teaches them that violence is acceptable and that they can use it
They learn how to keep secrets
They learn to mistrust those close to them

Being exposed to domestic violence can have a long-lasting effect on children which could affect their ability to form relationships in the future, including:

Blaming themselves for the violence
Feeling frightened
Becoming withdrawn
Bedwetting
Running away
Aggressiveness
Behavioural difficulties
Problems with school
Poor concentration
Emotional turmoil
Lack of respect
Loss of self-confidence

Who to contact

POLICE: 101 or in an emergency 999

Services Available to Lewisham Residents

Refuge, The Athena Service

The Athena service, run by Refuge provides confidential, non-judgmental support to those living in the London Borough of Lewisham who are experiencing gender-based violence. It opened its doors in April 2015 and provides outreach programmes, independent advocacy, group support, refuge accommodation and a specialist service for young women.

It provides the following services, all under one roof:

One-to-one confidential, non-judgmental, independent support
A specialist independent gender-based violence advocacy (IGVA) team to support clients at risk of serious harm
A specialist service for 13-19 year-old girls
Group support
A peer support scheme to help break isolation; build social networks and provide support clients regain control of their lives
Volunteering opportunities

Telephone: Athena Service on 0800 112 4052

Email: lewishamvawg@refuge.org.uk

Website: Refuge Athena One Stop Shop Services

African Advocacy Foundation

A community-led organisation working to promote better access to health, education and other opportunities for disadvantaged communities in the UK, Europe and parts of Africa.

African Advocacy provide practical support, policy work, advocacy, information, guidance and training to professionals and community members alike. African advocacy work to empower individuals and families experiencing multiple disadvantages and barriers including ill health, poverty, deprivation, violence, isolation and those relating to language, culture, faith and other social issues.

Location:

CATFORD (MAIN) OFFICES:

76 Elmer Road, Catford, London SE6 2ER

Telephone:

0208 698 4473

Website: https://www.africadvocacy.org/

BelEve UK

The purpose is to equip girls and young women with the right support, skills and confidence to make informed choices about their future; improve their educational, social and economic outcomes whilst taking control of their lives.

Location:
The Albany, Deptford, SE8 4AQ

Telephone:

0203 372 5779

Website: https://beleveuk.org/

Latin American Women’s Rights Service (LAWRS)

LAWRS has a zero tolerance policy of any form of Violence against Women and Girls (VAWG). Our team offers advice, advocacy and practical support to Latin American women who are experiencing or have experienced Domestic Violence, Harmful practices or any other form of violence.

Location:

Tindlemanor, 52-54 Featherstone Street.
London, EC1Y 8RT

Telephone:

020 7336 0888, 084 4264 0682

Website: http://www.lawrs.org.uk/

IKWRO – Women’s Rights Organisation

IKWRO are committed to providing non-judgmental support to women who speak Kurdish, Arabic, Turkish, Farsi, Dari, Pashtu and English.

Location:

IKWRO – Women’s Rights Organisation
PO Box 75229
LONDON
E15 9FX

Telephone:

0207 920 6460

Website: http://ikwro.org.uk/

Women and Girls Network (WGN)

WGN is a free, women-only service providing a holistic response to women and girls who have experienced, or are at risk of, gendered violence.

Telephone:

0808 801 0660

Website: http://www.wgn.org.uk/

WE Women (Women Empowering Women)

We Women is a collaboration of women which has been delivering community support to women since March 2017. In August 2018, we women became a constituted community group.

We Women are entirely volunteer run, and our aims are to:

Empower women to be more self-sufficient
Improve women’s health & well-being
Address the material impacts of poverty within the local community

Location:

Pepys Resource Centre Old Library Deptford Strand London
London
Greater London
SE8 3BA
United Kingdom

Telephone:

020 8691 3146

Website: https://www.lewishamlocal.com/places/united-kingdom/greater-london/london/lewisham-groups/we-women-women-empowering-women/

Early Years Alliance - Lewisham Children's and Family Centres

The Alliance is working together with Clyde Nursery School, Beecroft Garden School and Kelvin Grove/Eliot Bank and Downderry Children’s Centres to deliver a clear seamless borough wide children’s centre offer for families in the London Borough of Lewisham, working alongside health visiting, midwifery, schools and public health services.

Lewisham Children and Family Centres offer families access to a range of health, education, play, parenting, adult education, employment support and family support services right across the borough.

Website: https://www.lewishamcfc.org.uk/

National Stalking Helpline – Suzy Lamplugh Trust

The National Stalking Helpline is run by Suzy Lamplugh Trust. Their mission is to reduce the risk of violence and aggression through campaigning, education and support.

Telephone: 0808 802 0300

Website: https://www.suzylamplugh.org/

METRO

METRO is a leading equality and diversity charity providing health, community and youth services across London and the south-east, with some national and international projects. METRO promotes health, wellbeing and equality through youth services, mental health services and sexual health and HIV services and works with anyone experiencing issues related to gender, sexuality, diversity or identity.

Location: 141 GREENWICH HIGH ROAD, GREENWICH, SE10 8JA

Telephone: 020 8305 5000

Website: https://metrocharity.org.uk/

RASASC - Rape & Sexual Abuse Support Centre Rape Crisis South London

RASAC believe too many women have had to be silent for too long about the violence perpetrated against them.

They understand that it can be difficult to speak up, hard to find the words or to believe that anyone will listen.

RASAC will listen. They believe. They will stand up alongside you. You do not have to do this alone.

Telephone: 0808 802 9999

Postal Address:
PO BOX 383, Croydon, CR9 2AW

Website: http://www.rasasc.org.uk/contact/

Stonewall

Information and campaigning for LGBT rights. Got a question? A problem? Need support? Stone wall are here to help with any issues affecting LGBT people or their families. Whatever your situation, you’re not on your own. Stonewall will do what they can to help or point you in the right direction to someone who can.

Telephone: 0800 0502020

Write to Stonewall: Stonewall 192 St. John Street London EC1V 4JY

Website: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/help-advice/contact-stonewalls-information-service

Respect

Men and women working together to end domestic violence

Telephone: 0808 802 4040

Address: The Green House

244-254 Cambridge Heath Road

London

E2 9DA

Website: http://respect.uk.net/

The Deaf Health Charity – Sign Health